You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Randomize
