Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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