Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Randomize
