god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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