P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize
