Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
