he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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