I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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