saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
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