i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Randomize
