Having a random hookup so left but love u
one might say we're banned from that church
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
then he tried to convert me to islam
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Randomize