i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
