I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
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You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
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