Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
