i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Randomize
