Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize