I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
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