I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize