you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
