Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
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