i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
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