Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
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