The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
