Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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