I looked at my own cervix.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Randomize
