VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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