i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Randomize
