You're so nebulous sometimes
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
