...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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