New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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