Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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