I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Randomize
