The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
you win again, gameday.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
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