marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Randomize
