this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
