well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize