Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Randomize
