Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
