I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I'm like, not good at living.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
