Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
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