i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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