im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Randomize
