i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
