Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Randomize
