You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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