what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Randomize