How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
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The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
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Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
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