i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
Randomize
