How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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