i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
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did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
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When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
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