God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
