she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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