I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I can text with my tongue
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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