Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Randomize
