I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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