so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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