What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
