dude i'm inner monologue high
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize
