even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
