I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
