Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Your mouth is God's brothel.
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
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