That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
