Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
