I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
I am midnight drunk by noon
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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