flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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