I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize