so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
