Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
