So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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