Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
